If I would have known that I would not return to China I would have hiked the mountains one more time I would have walked along the ocean just once more I would have explored those places I always meant to I would have ordered all my favorite foods I would have savored every bite I would have held my cat a little longer I would have hugged each of my students I would have told them all how loved they are I would have shed a tear or three or four I would have gotten hotpot one

God I am really trying to trust you I know your timing is perfect And that you know what’s best for me I know that your plans are way better Than any plans I could come up with And I know you love me But right now, I feel like a shattered piece of glass That is barely holding it together... I am struggling I am hurt I am sad I am frustrated I am scared I am angry I am desperate for some relief I am desperate for some comfort God, I desperately wish I could be HOME But more an